So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
