the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
i now understand why vodka
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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