Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
