thus making me awesome and them whores
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
there is puke in my bra ... again
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