I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
