Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
