maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
