He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize