Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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