another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
