I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
