so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
