I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Randomize
