she woke up with a sticky ear
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
