I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
