I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
