My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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