Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
