One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
