just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
