In the future we'll all be gay
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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