Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize