They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
