you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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