The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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