ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
