dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
