hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize