He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
