Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
