I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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