did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Holy shit dude........stairs
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
