Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
