Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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