guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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