This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
