just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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