using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize