Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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