her vagine was all disorganized.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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