pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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