the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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