I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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