Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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