Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
you made out with another girl for some wings
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
