Define "chronic" masturbator.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
