The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Life without a bra equals bliss.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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