how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
