All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
