I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
