Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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