he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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