Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
