he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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