I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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