I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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