i'm signing you up for texting rehab
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
