i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Randomize
