Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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