I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize