i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
