you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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