Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
