You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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