Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
