Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
