what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
