I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
