Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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