youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
