I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize