So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
