can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
accomplished twins. life is a go
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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