it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
ttyl tear gas
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
