How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
