Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(389): View more from

So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"

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(253): View more from Washington

I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer

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(+44): View more from England

phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...

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(917): View more from New York City

you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.

(720): View more from Colorado

ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...

(917): View more from New York City

no it doesn't.

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(631): View more from New York

Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...

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(612): View more from Minnesota

how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?

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(210): View more from Texas

yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."

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(315): View more from New York

Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!

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