he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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