I haven't been this sober since birth.
Do vagina's smell?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
