you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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