writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
